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The Ring Bearer at My Wedding

notoriousbkc</lj> agreed to a Catholic wedding when we married, despite the fact that he’s an atheist. I made it clear that it was either a Catholic wedding, or no wedding. I always see it as a testament to how much he loves me and wanted to marry me considering everything he had to endure for that wedding.

So when notoriousbkc</lj> said he wanted his five year old nephew Ryan to be the ring bearer at our wedding, I felt I had to say yes. Understand that I didn’t want children in the wedding because I’d heard too many horror stories (like the ring bearer who, upon arriving at the altar, threw the pillow bearing said rings like a Frisbee then ran away); however, considering all notoriousbkc</lj> agreed to, the least I could do was agree to have Ryan be in the wedding.

At first, Ryan wasn’t sure if he wanted to do it. Then he found out he got to wear a tux like his dad, Rick, who was a groomsman. That sealed it; Ryan was in the wedding.

I did everything I could think of to make sure that Ryan was comfortable during the ceremony. I explained everything that he was supposed to do. I told him he could either sit in the priest’s chair during the service (because it wasn’t a full mass, the priest wouldn’t be using it, so Fr. Del said I could tell Ryan to use it. In fact, I think it was Fr. Del’s idea), or he could go sit with his mom and grandparents in the front row.

Fr. Del asked us if we had faux rings to put on the pillow that Ryan carried. No, Ryan was going to carry the actual rings; That was the whole point of having a ring bearer. Besides, my MiL made a beautiful pillow just for the occasion. Okay, Fr. Del told us to have Todd, the best man, tie the rings on the pillow because he was going to be the ones to take them off.

During the processional, Ryan walked in after the maid of honor and just before me and my Poppy. When he realized that a lot of people were taking his picture, he slowed down. I should thank Ryan for insuring that I had a beautiful and genuine smile as I walked down the aisle.

Todd took too long untying the rings from the pillow because Ryan tired of standing there holding it for him and went to sit down in Fr. Del’s chair. When Todd finally freed the rings, he handed the pillow to the first groomsman, who passed it down the line until it eventually went back to Ryan.

Apparently during the boring ceremony (it was only twenty minutes!), Ryan was playing with the pillow by twirling it by the ribbons used to tie the rings. I wish that had been captured on the video.

The only thing I didn’t think of was the recessional. I needn’t have worried. Rick was the last groomsman out and paired with my sister. Rick walked back up the aisle escorting my sister on his right arm and holding Ryan’s hand with his left. I could not have planned that more perfectly.

Fr. Del helped me make sure that everyone in the wedding party signed the wedding certificate in my Bible. At the very bottom of the page in five-year-old handwriting is “Ryan.”

Why am I mentioning all this? Because last night Rick sent a broadcast e-mail that included a YouTube video of Ryan proposing to his best friend/girlfriend Devan, just after she won a powerlifting tournament (the woman can bench press more than I weigh). Ryan must have been very sure she would say yes for doing so in such a public forum, and the look on her face when he went down to one knee assures me that the proposal was a genuine surprise.

Of course she said yes. The wedding is planned for October of 2012, and mercifully it’s on a day when the Badgers play an away game.

I’m thinking of sending them an engagement gift: a copy of this blog entry, several photos of Ryan on my wedding day, and a scan of my Bible page that he signed. What do you think?

Pog ma thoin!

“I feel old.” -LAC

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September 2011


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